" The last stars will die out 120 trillion years from now, followed by 10^106 years of just black holes.
Condensed, that's like the universe starting with 1 second of stars and then a billion, billion, billion, billion, billion, billion, billon years of just black holes.
Stars are basically the immediate after-effect of the Big bang. A one-second sizzle of brightness before settling into eternal darkness.
We live in that one bright second. "
I'm not sure about the purpose or specific things I want to share. Maybe it's because that one second hit me hard. Maybe it's because I'm scared. The best thing I can do right now is immortalize my thoughts through writing.
Free bird.
*Please don't take this too seriously. I'm just a naive 24-year-old boy living in a third-world country with limited life experience. This is just my opinion, and feel free to disagree.
ˌəpˈsīz T͟Hē kəp əv līf
We spend our entire lives searching for happiness, using guidelines from the Bible, books, movies, ideologies, or even some lousy article on the internet (like this one). Thanks to Hollywood and all its unrealistic views, happiness seems like a distant and unattainable state that we must chase after. We tend to think that if we have the perfect partner, immense wealth, a flawless family, or even a great career, we would feel fulfilled and find happiness. I'm no saint, heck, nobody is anywhere near that level. I'm far from stable and far from implementing all the self-development books I've ever read. But here's what I've realized:
Criteria is public enemy number one. There's a significant difference between having a target or dream in life and relying on day-to-day criteria. Having criteria about how happiness and life should be won't be good in the long term. Having criteria about what your partner should be, what career you should have, how rich you should be, and thinking that you're the only one who should be in that perfect scenario is toxic. Life is not about making your own fancy mold, and having a fancy mold certainly won't help. No matter how privileged, good-looking, rich, or smart you are, life is too complex and too short. Realize that we don't and won't have the power to craft the way of life. If things happen just as you imagined, consider it luck, not your power.
But here's the most potent tool we have, better than the ability to craft the flow of life; we have the cup. The cup to drink all the happiness we deserve. The bigger the cup, the more water you can put in, the more experience and happiness your life will have. The cup will get bigger with every pain you've been through, every small win, every love you've felt, every heartbreak storm you've weathered, every failure, and every eureka moment that truly defines you.
Surrender to the universe, to the bigger power beyond our capability. Let the cup fulfill itself without you knowing precisely what it is. Work hard and take chances. That's where I believe true happiness lies.
Plus, be full of love enough to tell someone the truth, and be respectful enough to accept different ways people see things. Sometimes it's not about how much you gain; it's about detaching yourself from things and being free. Don't forget always to be yourself and genuine to others.
Overall, our job is quite simple. Make the cup bigger and let the universe fill it. Not the other way around.
T͟Hē ˈmajik əv ləv
When I broke up with my ex a few years ago, I was devastated. That was my first real relationship. Back then, to keep my mind sane, I searched for the whole meaning of love, the science behind it, and why it happens. Finding a logical explanation gave me peace. You can even find my writings about "Scientifically Speaking: Love e" as my first article in Opinion.
Maybe back then, I used to believe that humans were too clueless and too lazy, so we just believed in the idea of love without figuring out what exactly it is, just like back when ancient Greece believed that thunder is caused by Zeus. Maybe, and this is the biggest factor, it's all because deep down, I'm a big believer that humans work in a capitalistic way, that we tend to do things really because of our own inner drive, and we rarely do things for others.
I was wrong.
If my past argument was true, it would make life so much simpler and easier. But to be completely honest, that would be boring as hell.
No matter how good or bad it is, now I believe that love shouldn't make you question things; it should make you appreciate things. Appreciate that things end for reasons that are way beyond our knowledge. Appreciate all the sadness because it proves the fact that you're just a regular human that is capable and full of emotions. Appreciate all the joy you used to have and accept that it's all over. Appreciate that everyone deserves to be happy, even if you're in such unbelievable pain; try to believe that your time to be happy will eventually come too.
I'm not a salesman, but I can assure you that this magic is awesome; it's like Rapunzel on crack. You will feel invincible, and all you want to do is scream to the whole world telling how happy and lucky you are. It's like all you want to do is sing the Carpenters song and watch John Cusack's movies. But hold on, the real magic comes when you realize there's the urge to fight for your partner, to fight and risk for what you believe in. The magic to enjoy all the ups and downs, all the long roads that are too dark to get through, and you don't feel afraid at all. The high level of respect you give unconditionally. Suddenly, you become a super app that will always be happy and ready to help, and plus, you won't get ashamed to ask for help because you just trust them. The magic of realizing that there will always be room for improvement. Appreciate all those magic and how lucky we are.
I love this quote from Modern Family when Arvin first met Haley,
"there are forces in the universe that we don't understand, measurable forces that can't be explained, but can't be denied, and that's... that's what this is. I don't get it, but I know that's its real."
If someday scientists are able to crack the code of love, I would choose not to know. In a world that's full of explanations, love is the only magic we have left, and I want to leave it that way.
A golden rule to remember is that you won't be able to enjoy the magic show if all you can think about during the show is figuring out how the hell they do it. Just enjoy it, man.
T͟Hē ˈsēzən fəˈnalē
It's funny and terrifying if we think about death. It's funny that you can make plans for what the next 15 years will be, but all of those plans can be easily wiped out because of death. No one knows what our future will be, not even John Titor. It's terrifying that death is the only inevitable fact, and it's the only thing that disconnects us from a lifelong mission of what we've built. It's terrifying to realize the fact that no matter how advanced humans are, we will always be in the constant position of being clueless about death.
Sometimes I feel like I don't want to be dead, I want to live forever. I always consider myself a risk lover, but I hate the fact that you can become a billionaire in the next 5 years, but you can also be dead in the next 5 months. Such an ultra-high-risk bet.
Even if I am eventually going to be dead, I want to be remembered. I used to believe that the sign of making it in life is if there are many flowers from important people and companies on your cemetery. Heck, I used to make an agreement with my friend that if I die, please send a big sign and flowers from the 'Lamborghini Club Indonesia' to my cemetery.
Then again, I was wrong.
One of my most favorite quotes came from Confucius, who once said, "We have two lives, and the second begins when you realize you only have one."
If we think about it, maybe death is such a blessing in disguise. Maybe that's all we need, to realize how short our time is. Perhaps the purpose of death is not to disconnect us, but to make us seize every second we have here on earth. Death is the gasoline of life. What an irony.
You don't have to be remembered to make your season finale legendary. It's simply about being the father that your son needed, being the reliable friend for your friends, being the number one support system for your partner, being the inspiring leader and coworker, always giving respect unconditionally, simply being the man who lives his life.
It's all about making a small ripple. Maybe our only bright second here is not that complicated. Maybe we can make that ripple by upsizing the cup of life, being clueless and enjoying the magic of love, and in the end, making our season finale legendary.
I love my family, my friends, and my life. Thank you all. I'm sorry if I mistreated you guys or hurt you in any possible way. I wish you guys a gigantic cup of life with a free flow of joy and learning!