Well 'scientifically' is a total clickbait and sounds too big for something like this, this is more like a hypothetical theory by me lol. Based on what I just went through, I think it's quite fair to discuss 'Love' as the first topic on Opinion. I believe most people must have been/will hurt or madly in love with someone during their lifetime, create new issues either good or bad for themselves. Love makes someone write something so depressing yet so happy. Comedian George Burns once described love as something like a backache: “It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”. There must be a reason for this, there must be a pattern or a glimpse of logical reason about this 'magic'. So, let's dive in!
Starts with The Sparks
The spark of love is unique, it ignites in a place and time you would never imagine. Falling in love makes you feel like a total eclipse of the brain, all of your logic shuts down. But after browsing through the internet, I found this to be quite insightful. According to research from Harvard, love could be broken down into three categories: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment. Every aspect could overlap, but in my opinion, if all are in the same position as visualized on the Venn diagram below, you know it's something real
Lust is driven by the desire for sexual gratification, making it a primal and animalistic urge. It often leads to "love at first sight" when you find someone extremely physically attractive or alluring. When your lust peaks, the hormones testosterone or estrogen flood your body.
Attraction, on the other hand, makes you enjoy being around someone and talking to them. It creates a "reward" behavior that releases dopamine, which is why the first few weeks or months of a relationship can feel so exhilarating. This rush of dopamine can be addictive, making you crave more of it and hope that the feeling will continue.
Attachment is the most important factor in separating crushes from real love. It creates a sense of belonging and builds long-term relationships. Attachment is what makes you commit to someone for the long haul, and is the key to serious relationships. It's the reason why the friendzone and FWB exist - without attachment, you're left with only lust or attraction. Oxytocin, also known as the "cuddle hormone," is responsible for creating feelings of attachment. This hormone is released when you bond with others, including family, friends, and romantic partners, and speaks to the true nature of love.
After all this, voila! you may think that you have found real love and could be the most perfect couple in the world. But once you get together as a couple, is that it? Does the journey end in happily ever after for both of you? Of course not! There's a pattern in (mostly) any relationship, and it's called the Love Line.
The Love Line
The Love Line explains the correlation between Time and Love. It might be started as a joke from someone on Tumblr, but I take this quite realistic and I even added the colors to visualize the stages. I also found this visualization really fits the three main reasons for love.
The Green Zone
Welcome to The Green Zone, where your relationship feels like a magical Disney movie. You really enjoy your time with them, you missed them every single minute possible. They do nice things for you. They seem like don't have any flaw. Even though sometimes you argue with them, you just still drunk of love. But be careful, this is totally a temporary thing. Some say it may last for weeks or a couple of months, every case is different. But what I can assure you that this is a total temporary thing.
The Green Zone may also describe most Hollywood romance movies and I really really hate it. What I hate about most Hollywood movies, they only show the tale of 'real love' by showing the struggle of achieving the honeymoon phase, the struggle in the green zone. They show that true love is achieved when you successfully get together as a couple and then you could live happily ever after. But you know what? that is a total BS. The hardest part comes when you pass through that honeymoon phase, the hardest part comes to create a sustainable love line and keep trusting each other. Hollywood movies or any movies in general brainwashed us, and I believe it's quite responsible to 70% of all the breakups in the world, thinking that they are not happy or fully satisfied or so on by created false illusion of what relationship should be.
The Yellow Zone
The constant bickering keeps happening and it kinda annoys you. This is when you realize does this relationship disturbs or improves your life. This is where you thinking about how toxic your relationship or your partner is. You're thinking to break things because you think you deserve better. You just realize that you're not happy with them. You're in the middle of thinking of breaking up with them or not, but you still have the remaining euphoria from the Green Zone, you still have the brain eclipse even though your happiness seems down.
The Red Zone
You love your relationship and been attached quite far. You realize that you want to settle with them, you love what you've been through together. But the fact is, you just entered the most dangerous zone of all. You have a high level of attachment but your dopamine is kinda low thus makes you bored. You missed the dopamine from The Green Zone. Even though you already settle for this person, you start to see the illusion of neighbor grass is greener than yours. You're standing in a thin line, and when someone new comes to you, you feel the new euphoria and rush just like in The Green Zone. You started to lose interest in your partner and getting blind AGAIN. It's like smoking, no matter how bad it is for your body or how many campaigns told the dangerous fact of smoke, you just can't stop. Suddenly all you can think about is your partner's flaw (which were okay before) and all the things that someone new doing is something sweet. In this stage, you really need to start trying to save your relationship, you need to see your attachment and be quite logical even though it's hard since your mind is full of dopamine from something new. You need to realize that things you thought something new is actually just a phase.
The Blue Zone
Congratulation, you just entered the matured relationship. You've been through all the zones but that doesn't mean you can relax and stop working to maintain your relationship. The pattern could happen all over again, you need to keep your partner dopamine ups, and try to create new memories with them. Some are deciding to get married in this phase because they're sure they belong together and believe marriage is a whole new step to recreate the dopamine. And that's totally okay I mean you already complete all the stages and complete all the requirements of love. You deserve to celebrate the sacred thing of a monogamy relationship.
I think that's all I can discuss about love. I hope you guys can get something out of this. Remember that this is a blend of mostly opinion, experience, and some theoretical facts I found on the internet. In this opinion, I also don't want to discuss about breakups because that's a whole new thing, so maybe next time. For those who succeed all this, I want to say congratulations. For those who have not, be patient and start to love yourself first. Last but not least, I found this quote from some professor at Harvard and I think this needs to be highlighted by anyone on their relationship. Ciao guys!
“There is too much pressure … on what a romantic partner should be. They should be your best friend, they should be your lover, they should be your closest relative, they should be your work partner, they should be the co-parent, your athletic partner. … Of course, everybody isn’t able to quite live up to it.”
—Jacqueline Olds